You can’t celebrate what you don’t recognise.
We often talk about the importance of resilience. It’s praised, promoted, and positioned as a sign of strength—especially for neurodivergent women and mothers. But when we peel back the layers, we see that something far more foundational is missing: recognition.
Without recognition of our needs, our emotional experiences, and our internal world, even our successes feel distant—or worse, unworthy of celebration.
Why We Struggle to Celebrate
When we’ve been taught to suppress emotion, mask our needs, or perform according to other people’s expectations, something subtle happens: we lose the ability to acknowledge ourselves.
We might:
- Downplay our wins
- Feel like we didn’t “try hard enough” to deserve celebration
- Avoid pride because it feels like we’re taking something away from someone else
Without self-recognition, celebration feels selfish—even greedy. We fear that shining light on our success dims someone else’s. So we keep it quiet. We move on quickly. We push to the next task.
But this doesn’t just affect us—it ripples out.
The Family Impact
I’ve seen this play out in so many families I work with.
A child does something wonderful. They’ve tried hard. They’ve pushed their edges. But the celebration is muted—because the parent is worried about how their other child will feel. Or because they themselves don’t know how to be in the spotlight.
So the achievement is acknowledged… briefly. And then tucked away.
When we don’t recognise ourselves, we also struggle to celebrate others without feeling “less than.”
We can’t separate one person’s moment of joy from our own sense of inadequacy. We see success as comparative. Zero-sum. If they win, I lose.
But when recognition is present, the story changes.
Recognition Makes Celebration Safe
When we understand our own needs, preferences, and capacity:
- We can celebrate small things without guilt
- We can take up space in a moment of pride
- We can enjoy someone else’s joy without it diminishing our own
Recognition gives us context. It reminds us:
“This came easily because it aligns with who I am.”
“This was hard, and I did it anyway.”
“This was joyful, and that’s reason enough.”
For Clinicians, Educators & Parents
If you’re supporting neurodivergent individuals or families, ask:
- What internal rules are blocking recognition?
- Where is celebration absent?
- Do success and effort always have to come with struggle to be ‘valid’?
You may find that the missing link isn’t confidence or resilience—it’s a lack of recognition.
What You Can Do Today
Try asking:
- What’s something I did well this week—even if it came easily?
- Where did I show up in alignment with my values?
- Can I let someone else’s success exist without comparison?
Celebration doesn’t require fanfare. It requires visibility.
And you can’t celebrate what you haven’t recognised.
Let’s start there.
BBMe Completely
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The Seven Cs of Brain Bubbles
We delve into the seven Cs of the Brain Bubbles journey:
1. Choices: Grounded in values, it involves decision-making as an individual, rather than satisfying collective expectations.
2. Cerebral: Embracing neurodivergence involves recognizing accommodations and embracing our unique mental landscapes.
3. Coordination: This ties into our executive functioning, influencing how we manage time and resources effectively.
4. Coping: Understanding our stress levels and personality traits helps manage neurodivergent triggers.
5. Calibration: Resets our stress responses, utilizing tools like the vagus nerve to maintain balance.
6. Crazy Cat Lady: Involves understanding attachment styles and relationships, both with ourselves and others.
7. Connection: As pack animals, we need a sense of belonging and support to thrive.
Charting Your Path Forward
At the end of our session, participants have the opportunity to map their Brain Bubbles, evaluating their position on the axis and highlighting areas for development. Whether it’s increasing assertiveness in decision-making or enhancing coping strategies, this tool can guide you toward a more balanced and fulfilling life.
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“You’re not failing at life — you’re trying to do it with no map for how your brain actually works. BBMe Completely gives you that map — in your language, not theirs.”
Final Thoughts
Support and Community
Remember, you’re not alone. Communities like the Yellow Ladybugs and initiatives like Better Being Me are here to offer support and foster understanding. Embracing neurodivergence is a lifelong journey, and though we may grapple with societal expectations, together, we can create environments that honor and uplift each and every individual. If you are interested in diving deeper into these concepts, my online program, “BBMe Completely Embrace Neurodivergence,” offers a comprehensive guide. It’s designed to help you navigate these aspects with actionable steps and support. Thank you for joining me on this journey of exploration and acceptance. Remember, you are a whole spectrum of potential, and together, we can redefine what it means to embrace every facet of who we are.
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Links & Resources:
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Join BBMe Completely: BBMe Completely
-
Follow me on Instagram: BetterBeingMe_BBMe
- Connect with Sarah : Thinkers Theatre & Sarah Mae Simcoe – Thinker’s Theatre
- Subscribe to the Better Being Me Podcast: Talking Twaddle Season 2
- Checkout the Talking Twaddle Posts:
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🎙️ Share your favourite quote, tag us both, and pass this episode on to your neurokin.
Recognition spreads faster when we tell the truth out loud.
